Imagine you are terribly out of shape. You haven’t exercised since before the last episode of Game of Thrones aired, you have no workout clothes that even fit anymore, and the most activity you get in a day is transferring a load of towels from the washer to the dryer.  But now you want to get fit. Perhaps you have a big birthday coming up, or a beach vacation where you want to look your best, or you just want to be able to run around the backyard with the children or grandchildren without feeling your lungs will explode.

So you rise slowly off your very comfy couch, creaking and groaning, and begin to train for a marathon.

Yep. No silly 5K for you. Go big or go home, that’s your motto.

Your friend, the marathon runner who has competed in more than 40 races across the country, has told you that it worked for him and it’s the only way for you to attain your goal.

So you lace up your very old running shoes that you dug out of the back of the coat closet and begin.

Certainly, if you are able to stick with this plan and don’t injure yourself in the process, training for a 26.2-mile road race will level up your physique and fitness. And for some people that will work. But…

What if you hate running?

What if your body isn’t ready for that intensity?

What if your schedule doesn’t allow for that kind of time commitment?

What if running a marathon is not the best way to get physically fit… for you?

Goals are easy to set. You decide where you want to be and by when, and, voila, you have a goal. But often there are many paths to get to the same place. If you want to go to the beach, you can fly or drive. If you want to buy a new car, there are numerous makes and models from which to choose. 

A promotion at work might result from hard work, or from being the person on the team with the most creative solutions, or from kissing up to the boss. All roads might lead to the career boost for which you are looking but not all are right for you. Not all will make you feel good about the journey.

When I decided to start my own consulting practice, I did what a lot of people do in similar circumstances. I took every job, every client, that came my way. Not only was I exploring all paths to determine which was best for me, but I also wanted to make sure I had enough work to pay my bills. That wasn’t a bad strategy, but I quickly realized that I needed to be more intentional about the road I traveled toward my goal of being successfully self-employed. True, I was busy and thriving financially, but some of my clients gave me heartburn and some of the work bored me to tears. It wasn’t enough to be in business for myself. I also needed to have work that I loved.

So if achieving your goal is not enough and the journey is as important as the destination, how do you know if you’re on the wrong path?

You dread taking the next step.

If you wake up in the morning and cannot face the workout, the job, the tasks you have to complete each day to move you closer to your dream, you are receiving a powerful message to which you should pay attention. Not everything we do as we work toward our desires will be fun. Training, learning, growing isn’t always fun. Anyone who has had to study all night for a test knows that to be true. But if you cannot tie the steps you are taking to the belief that you will be so happy and proud when you reach the end of this journey, you might be on the wrong path.

You’re starting not to like yourself.

You should never feel that you have to compromise your integrity or your sense of self just to achieve a goal. If you find yourself surrounded by people you don’t like or trust, or you hear yourself saying things you normally would never say or doing things you would never do, because you have convinced yourself this is what must be done to achieve your goal, you might be on the wrong path.

You are thinking you should give up.

It’s easy to tell ourselves the goal is no longer valuable when the journey to attaining it is so hard and painful. It is okay to change your mind and choose another goal if you realize the original is no longer relevant to your wellbeing. But if you still find yourself dreaming of climbing that mountain, or securing that job, or building that perfect home and are thinking of giving up, it might not be the dream that is the problem. It might just be that in your quest to achieve it you have embarked upon the wrong path.

Goals are important. A life without them is aimless. But a goal without a plan is just a dream. And a goal with the wrong plan can be a nightmare. Remember that the journey toward whatever it is you hope to accomplish should energize and inspire. If it doesn’t you might not need a new goal. You might need only a course correction – a new path.